Upfront, let’s be honest. I’m a youth ministry vet, I was in a youth ministry growing up, I had two parents who reached out to me and did everything in their power to train me up in the way I should go, and I truly try to be very open minded to what does and does not line up with Scripture and the gospel and will change my view if the Lord shows me the errors in my thinking. The following is not to condemn my brother, but to have a balanced view through Scripture. That is all any of this should be built on. I won’t pretend to be THE expert on youth ministry, but I’m also not ignorant of the blessings and pitfalls of it.

I was emailed and Facebooked about the documentary called “Divided” that deals with the problem of youth walking away from church and the problems of youth ministry. Its about an hour long and very well done by a younger brother who admits his dad pulled him out of youth ministry due to his convictions on youth ministry. In it, he interviews both sides of the argument on youth ministry from Ken Hamm to Walt Mueller to people from the organization National Center for Family-Integrated Churches (the sponsors of the film – that’s a flag). I watched it and took notes while watching it. I was encouraged at some, agreed with some and went nuts on other parts.

What I Agree With:
–Parenting is the highest calling a person can have and it is the responsibility of parents to spiritually train their children. Deut. 6 and Ephesians 6 show the importance of this principle. It is not an option clause. Fathers are to teach their children. Its a higher calling than their career. Parents have wrongly been handing off the sole role of spiritual development of their kids to their youth pastor and youth leaders. They neglect their own study of Scripture and expect the seminary trained youth pastor to teach their kids. This is a cop out that must stop.
–The “entertainment” youth ministry is failing. To loosely quote  Chuck Smith, “If you attract people (to church) by the flesh, you will need to keep them by the flesh.” In other words, if you are dependent on a great band, lights, and entertainment to win people, you will be more dependent on that to keep them than Christ. My own youth ministry has a level of fun, but fun will go out the window over Scripture. My teaching can be heavy because I want to challenge kids deeper than what I was. Raise the bar on them.
–Churches must be training parents on how to train their kids. I am not opposed to kids being in adult services because they get to experience what their parents do and they are able to watch their parent’s example.
–Programs don’t win people. They are a tool, but programs are not guarantees for success. That goes for evangelism strategies, capital campaigns, VBS, you name it. These are TOOLS, but ultimately the Holy Spirit is the one who does the work. I believe most of these are amoral unless they go against Scripture and are condemned by Scripture.
–Against the hopes of this film, I think it only emphasizes more and more the need for parents to step up, not for the end of youth ministry. I think it calls for a change in youth ministry which many have agreed needs to happen.

What I Disagree With:
-I’ll start with irony. This is a guy using a contemporary “worldly and unbiblical” media format to do the work of a preacher in convicting people. He condemns “worldly” youth ministry for taking the role of parents, while he does the exact same thing by using film. This is a double standard.
–Though I hate attacking the messenger especially if there is truth, the reality is this is a single guy (no kids) who was never in a fruitful youth ministry (that do exist) and this film is sponsored by NCFIC. In other words, its a promotional video. I have no problem with advertising, but at least own up that they are sponsoring you with their agenda. Also- while they condemn programs in the church, are they not selling their own?
–Since the term has been brought up, I would like to know the interpretation of “worldly” by this young man. It reminds me of the Monty Python movie where everyone is accusing a woman of being a witch. “She’s a witch!” they all cry out. In the church world, many say, “It is worldly!” without a real clear non-conflicting definition of worldly. For me, its anything that goes against the character of God. Since he condemns a rock concert in the beginning as worldly, I have to point out that rock music is not against the character or God nor is excitement. If the lyrics and heart of the musician is ungodly, then he has a point. One he can evaluate by listening to the words. The other he cannot evaluate- a man’s heart.
–The role of parent is sadly changing very fast in America. It will not be long before I have students to reach that are from homosexual parented homes. If the biblical role of parent applies here, which parent do you talk to about training up their child in the way they should go? Do we neglect that child since their parents more than likely are unsaved and not open to biblical parenting? Our society has also replaced parental instruction with teachers and media stars as their teachers. I am opposed to this, but it is the world we live in. How do we then approach that?
–The film takes the approach “youth ministry is broken so end it all.” There is much good in youth ministry if done the right way. This is the same as getting a broken arm and the doctor deciding to amputate. Can youth ministry and Sunday School truly be at the center of why the youth are walking away? No. Parents are partly responsible if they are not living their faith themselves and…here’s a concept- sometimes kids aren’t saved though they’ve been told they are because they prayed a prayer. Maybe their leaving because they aren’t even saved!
–What church has EVER had 100% of their kids continue in the faith? It seems to me that the faith is not followed by all no matter how faithful their parents are. My parents were faithful, yet I walked from the faith in high school. It was when I experienced it that it became real.
–There is debate over the interpretation of Proverbs 22:6, but Dr. Ted Hildebrandt has a very interesting deeper interpretation of this passage. One- it is a proverb, not a promise. Many parents have done their rightful duty yet their kids walk away. Two- this was talking about a later adolescent who was to be exhorting in taking their place in society. This is not interpreted, “Raise a child in church and they will never stray from it.” That does happen in some cases, but it isn’t always the case. Are the parents then sinful?
–My brother (the host in the movie) seems to be anti-entertainment in relation to church. Entertainment is everywhere in our culture: education, news, everything: is it evil or amoral? I would say that it is amoral. Is it doing damage to us – yes. Biblical illiteracy is high and there are distractions everywhere. However, do we still not use a level of entertainment at church for the purpose of reaching? What about passion plays? Drama? Special music pieces? PowerPoint presentations and slide shows (from when I was a kid)? Movies? See- if you are going to throw all entertainment out, then throw ALL of it out.

What Is Not Addressed:
–My brother (host) says that his FIC’s are “working.” Define working? Is it that parents are teaching their kids like they are supposed to? Is it based on how many kids don’t walk away from the faith? Is it based on successfully training kids to have their own faith experiences? I would assume he means that it seems to be doing its job. But I would love to see the percentage of these kinds of churches that have students knowing how to truly engage the world around them and what the percentage of them is that have gone into the mental funk of apathy. Give me tangible results for the youth ministry-less churches and we’ll believe.
–It is a good reminder that pastors should keep their entire audience in mind with preaching. Not only are married and parents in there, but there are older, single and student in there. How can pastors make a teaching all groups can understand and grow from? This is the challenge for all pastors.
–This is a summary of my last sermon. Deut. 6 says parents should always be teaching their kids, all day, every day, about the things of God. It is reiterated later in the book. In Joshua, the children of Israel cross the Jordan and are taught to build an altar in the middle of the river and on the other side for the sole purpose of fathers using it as a tool to teach about the things of God. We are not given an indicator that the people did not do this. However, come the book of Judges, it says that the next generation “did not know the Lord, nor what he had done for Israel.” If you look into the meaning of “know,” it means that “it didn’t concern them.” Literally, they had heard it but they did not care. Why? Possibly because it was their parent’s experience not their own. They had not experienced God for themselves. The greatest thing a parent can do is put their kids in faith-growing experiences. AUDIO
–My brother says the role of the church is to raise kids as a team. Parents are primarily responsible, but the other people in the church are to help them as a family. Isn’t that what youth ministry is trying to do (if it is doing it right)? It seems as soon as you throw a title of youth pastor or youth leader on a person, they are now yeast in the church. That is very inconsistent. I would love to ask my brother if he has had anyone apart from his dad and mom have a big impact on them spiritually.
–If you are going to follow the logic of this documentary, we need to get rid of every other “unbiblical” tool we use. Get rid of church promotion, web sites, christian school, home school, church buildings, small groups, communion tables, pews, sound systems, VBS, nurseries, crying rooms, pastor’s offices, commentaries, concordances, and much much more. Why? Because NONE of these are in the bible and are man-made. Is this crazy- yes…and so is the assessment that “since it isn’t in the Bible, its unbiblical and wrong.” AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT, since public age-based education is “based on evolution,” pull your kids out of the education system completely AND take them to your job so they can learn your career. If we are truly going to model exactly what Jesus and the disciples did – parents should be passing off their careers to them. We also need to ditch seminary and Bible college because they are unbiblical and if the church is going to be doing its job, we have no need of them.
–I’m reminded of the parable of the sower and the seed. In it, small percentages actually grow. Christianity is not a 100% guarantee that all will follow and that all of our children will continue to follow. Only 1/4 of the seed actually grew. 3/4 died. If our churches are seeing 25% of those witnessed to follow Christ, then there is a biblical evidence that we’re doing something right. The bigger question goes beyond how many of our kids are walking away. How many, even in the FIC churches are truly living it? Are all members living it and following the Word 100%? Are all the kids in that model continuing in the faith?
–What about those who have been impacted? This is left out of this whole documentary. How many students have actually come to Christ and grown only to continue in the faith BECAUSE youth ministry was there? My own father, a veteran missionary and trainer of missionaries was saved through “unbiblical” Youth For Christ (I guess that’s worse because it is parachurch!). He was ministered to through Child Evangelism Fellowship. He came from a home with no other Christians. He has been a role model to me of a man of God. I guess it is all null and void because of the ideology of this film. I, myself, was impacted by Hammie Don Smith, Phil Wegner, Kim and Joey Beckett – some of my youth leaders. Since I was rebellious and had a major breakdown with my parents who WERE being faithful to the word in trying to raise me, who was I to turn to? I wanted nothing to do with my parents. Should they have forced me? Instead these people showed an interest in me and were a safe place for me to vent and for them to speak in my life. My parents were my parents. I knew these people were not. I loved my parents though I rebelled. But according to this documentary – this is all unbiblical. Not to mention the lives God has changed in the youth ministries he has allowed me to have a part in and those who went on to ministry themselves. Its all null and void now.
–My last question – Did this brother or any of his supporter tell their parents everything when they were teenagers? Did they ask every question and only get input from them? Did they have any other source of counsel?

What IS the Roll of Youth Ministry?
–The first youth pastors and leaders in the life of a student are parents. Youth ministry is only a supplement and aid to support them. If youth ministry goes away, kids will still follow Christ.
–Youth ministry is powerful when it works to:

  • -Support Christian parents and their teaching of their children
  • -Helps parents understand the culture that their children are growing up into
  • -Gives a safe place for kids to ask questions that they may not feel comfortable asking their parents
  • -Helps students reach their lost friends around them
  • -Helps to grow young students who may not have a Christian home

–The youth pastor’s role is an aid to parents and students. As much as many want a pie in the sky belief that all kids and parents will get along and understand each other, it doesn’t always happen. If a youth pastor is coming along side a parent and supporting the parent’s teaching, it only enforces it. Proverbs 11:14 says that “in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” A parent should be a bedrock of wisdom for a student. As we know, they won’t take it that way all the time. That is the heart of a teenager. But when you have a parent saying it and another adult standing by the parents, it carries double the weight. The youth pastor is also to be a student of their student’s world. They have the opportunity to study the culture, see what is going on in the world around the student and help teach parents how to instruct their kids. In a sense, they are a missionary to youth culture.

Closing Thoughts:
-According to Paul Washer (again- someone I have high respect for) “Youth Ministry is “unbiblical” and a “way of the world.”” I can’t disagree more. Its nice to single out anything that we don’t see in the Bible as evil and wrong, but it negates many things I listed above, including the conferences that brother Paul speaks at. Another thing of the world is judgmentalism and often those who are judgmental have issue in their own lives that should be judged. I love brother Washer, but sometimes the loudest and boldest have skeletons they need to deal with starting with pride.
-Here are some evil, notorious Sunday School teachers and youth workers in history: DL Moody (who was led to the Lord by his SS teacher and eventually was tied to Billy Graham’s conversion), Deitrich Bonhoeffer, Fanny Crosby wrote songs for SS, John Wesley, Jack Wyrtzen, William Booth, Charles Spurgeon and many many more. But I guess we must throw them under the “unbiblical” brush.
-Youth ministry needs to get healthy. It is not the only solution to a student’s spiritual condition. There parents are the biggest role in that. Youth ministry needs to work as an aid to parents and submit to parental authority (as long as it is biblical in its instruction). Youth ministry is a tool, not a necessity.
-The makers of this film, though right on some things and having the best intentions, miss much and assume the best in a changing world. If the solution is to just go back to what we see in the Bible point by point, then we are headed to become an Amish community who loses all ability to connect with the world and times around it. Legalistic views such as this kill just as much as postmodern and emergent views. It all comes down the the Bible.